Thursday, December 17, 2009

BNAT 11 - [VINTAGE] The Candy Snatchers

The Candy Snatchers

Trailers preceding this film were The Honeymoon Killers, Mr. No Legs, and Lunch Wagon. There were some pretty awesome trailers this year.

This film reminded me of Teen Lust, if that says anything, and I think it should if you were at BNAT9. Three dumb kidnappers decide they're going to kidnap the daughter of a guy who runs a jewelry store so they can ask for precious stones as ransom payment. They take her and bury her alive, with some device so that she can breathe, but they're not yet aware of a force near their burial space that is more than they could ever have bargained for. The three-year-old special needs child in the above picture. FEAR HIM!

Seriously, the kid seems to be the only person who cares about the kidnapped girl at all. The father, who's being asked to put up diamonds as ransom, is actually her stepfather and will receive a large sum of money if she dies, which is the eventuality he is hoping for.

Most of the memorable scenes for me did not include the kidnappers or their victims. In fact, if it were up to me, I'd have made the whole film about the Fearsome Toddler and his exploits. I distinctly remember wanting to choke the life out of the Fearsome Toddler's annoying mom during the excruciatingly long scene in which she calls him (and calls him and calls him) for dinner, which I feel sets up some serious audience satisfaction with what happens to her later. There's a weird old man whose significance to the story is a mystery to me, but his hysterical laughter at the very idea of a kid who doesn't talk (i.e., our Fearsome Toddler) is both hilarious and a bit scary. But perhaps greatest of all is Fearsome Toddler's interpretation of the kidnapped girl's exhortation to call the police. He finds his policeman doll, calls a nearby store, and pulls the doll's talk string to have it say "Police! Open up!" over and over again into the receiver.

What a weird little movie. Proof that you could get any film made in the 1970s.

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