3. The Gold Mine [2023 Films]

 These are all movies I loved, period. No rank, just alphabetical order.

The Blackening

I slept on this when it was in theaters but I’m so glad I caught it eventually because it is a great horror

comedy that doesn’t settle for just being a spoof. Following a group of friends spending the weekend

at a rather nice house (no rickety cabin) in the woods, we then watch as they find themselves trapped

playing a strange board game with life or death stakes. This movie has some things to say about Black

roles in pop culture and horror movies especially. And in particular the conflicts among Black people

themselves when it comes to being “sufficiently Black.” This movie is brilliant, right through the

hilarious ending, and for non-Black viewers, you may find yourself getting unduly excited and proud

of yourself for getting references. For me, it was the SISTER ACT 2 shout-out. “If you wanna be

somebody … if you wanna go somewhere … you better wake up and pay attention.” I actually

SANG that shit while the actress was saying it, and then immediately laughed my ass off. I hadn’t

thought about that in years! (Streaming on Starz and available to rent on other platforms.)

Cocaine Bear

There’s nothing that special about this as a movie. I mean, it’s great and immensely entertaining

(hence its place here), but it’s not reinventing the wheel. It’s not a “take” on anything. But that this

movie exists, and that a woman was able to direct a movie like this, is kind of amazing. It’s exactly

what it says in the title: bear gets high on cocaine and runs amuck (incredibly based on a true story).

It’s set in the 1980s – the heyday of cocaine – and has some hilarious and memorable characters,

which is what makes this movie sing beyond the insane premise. There’s a lot of wild stuff in this

movie, most notably what it allows its pre-teen characters to do, and I was very pleased that there

was so much to enjoy that wasn’t already spoiled for me by the attention-getting trailer. (Streaming on Amazon Prime and available to rent on other platforms.)

The Color Purple

(A bit of a cheat as I technically saw this in 2024.) This is a really well-done, beautiful movie full

of off-the-charts great performances and incredible songs. It manages the unreality of the musical

numbers really well and it never felt awkward to me when someone started singing or dancing

(though honestly, it rarely does for me). I love the costumes and the look of the film, particularly

as they’ve slightly changed the location to a coastal town. Fantasia Barrino soars as Celie and

the quality of her voice lends itself really well to Celie’s journey from meek and subdued to

strong and independent. The star of the show to me, though, is Danielle Brooks as Sofia (the role

formerly played by Oprah Winfrey in Spielberg’s film). Her number “Hell No!” was my favorite

moment. The trauma of what happens to these women, especially Celie, feels a great deal softened

in this version (not to say it’s glossed over, but it’s somehow not as difficult to watch as in the

1984 film). Some of the condensing of the story didn’t entirely work for me and it felt sometimes

that too many things were happening in not enough time. But it’s a beautiful adaptation that I

know I’ll be revisiting again and makes me long for a time when musicals were more of a

presence at the cinema. (In theaters.)

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

I know nothing about Dungeons & Dragons, or any RPG for that matter, except what I’ve seen

on STRANGER THINGS. But you don’t have to know anything about it to get a ton of enjoyment

out of this movie (though I’m sure the more you know, the more rich it is). It’s another “go to

the place to get the thing to cast the spell to do the thing” plot, but that’s pretty much what

D&D is, as I understand, so it works. There’s a team of great characters (Chris Pine is predictably

awesome), a pretty terrifying villan, loads of humor (OMG TWENTY QUESTIONS IN THE

GRAVEYARD!), and a compelling adventure/road trip story with a satisfying and heartwarming

resolution, which is all you can really ask for. Except a sequel – I’d really love to see these

characters again in another movie. (Streaming on Amazon Prime and available to rent on other platforms.)

Infinity Pool

Brandon Cronenberg continues to follow in his father’s formidable footsteps, and this film goes

even further into Cronenberg body horror legacy. We follow a husband and wife on vacation who

fall in with the wrong people and find themselves on the wrong side of a foreign country’s law,

more than once. The sci-fi element with the clones is creepy to be sure, but the depths these

characters go to and, in particular, the lengths to which they are willing to go to escape consequences

are the real horror of this movie. Unsurprisingly, Mia Goth is the queen of every scene she is in

(there’s a scene where she’s sitting on the hood of a car that is INCREDIBLE). And the way

most of the characters end the movie – fully back to normal and discussing mundane real life

things like bills and appointments – is the most horrific of all. (Streaming on Hulu.)

John Wick: Chapter 4

I realize there’s probably no way this is the actual final chapter, but it’s as good an ending as this s

eries could have had. It’s everything you want in a John Wick movie, with easily the most Extra

villain and an opponent for John that you actually don’t want to see harmed. The second half of

this movie takes place in Paris and makes such great use of the city’s landscape and iconography

(holy crap, that Arc de Triomphe setpiece!). The fight on the steps of Sacre-Coeur is the most

ridiculous fight sequence in all four movies, and that is saying something. And the story and

Wick’s saga resolve themselves in an incredibly satisfying way. If these four movies are the sum

of the John Wick story, that is fine by me (barring worldbuilding spin-offs and prequels, which

I’d totally be here for). (Streaming on Starz and available to rent on other platforms.)

May December

First of all, yes, this movie is a comedy. Julianne Moore’s character is heavily inspired by Mary Kay

Letourneau, but the movie is not *about* that scandal and it’s not *about* grooming. The main character

is Natalie Portman’s character – an actress who’s playing Moore’s character in an upcoming movie.

It’s making fun of these movies that exploit a serious subject for cheap titillation. Director Todd Haynes

doesn’t want to call this movie “camp,” but I think it definitely is. Five minutes in, there’s an overly

dramatic music cue, then a push in on Julianne Moore looking in the refrigerator before she says “I

don’t think we have enough hot dogs.” If you don’t at least chuckle at that, you need to recalibrate

before watching the rest of the movie. Charles Melton is rightfully getting accolades for his performance

as Moore’s much younger husband. He’s kind of the only “straight man” in this and you definitely feel

for his character, who is in his 30s but is still a child in a lot of ways. Meanwhile Portman and Moore

face off like a couple of soap opera divas and I LOVE IT. (Streaming on Netflix and still in some theaters.)

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

Should we still be calling this Part One when they've decided not to call the next movie Part Two?

Anyway, I’m bummed this didn’t do better box-office-wise (I still think the laborious title is at least

partly to blame), but this is one of my favorite entries in the franchise. I like that the threat is AI

because they’ve done the nuclear threat too many times already, and this feels incredibly timely.

Everyone is bringing their A game here (though Ving Rhames seems underused, as he has been for

the past few of these). Hayley Atwell is a welcome addition to the cast and holds her own as well

as anyone can against the sheer mountain of intensity that is Tom Cruise. I mainly differentiate

these movies by the villains and each movie’s Super Ridiculous Cruise Stunt. This time it’s riding

that bike off the edge of a mountain – a truly jaw-dropping stunt, made more exciting by the

behind-the-scenes footage of Christopher McQuarrie breathing a sigh of relief that his star hasn’t

been killed. (Available to rent on various streaming platforms.)

Polite Society

This was such a fun and cool movie that I feel didn’t get the attention it deserved. Part Jane Austen

marriage plot, part heist movie, part martial arts showcase, this movie is pure joy and I loved every

minute. Revolving around a young Pakistani woman who wants to be a movie stuntwoman, the movie

takes an unexpected turn when her sister begins dating and eventually becomes engaged to a man our

heroine finds suspicious. We then see an almost reverse Jane Austen novel, where characters are trying

desperately to *stop* a marriage from happening. There’s a sci-fi element at play that goes to a place

I guarantee you will not expect. And the sister dynamic is wonderful and messy, with our heroine and

her sister being a truly Bizarro version of Lizzie and Jane Bennett.

(Streaming on Amazon Prime and available to rent on other platforms.)

Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé

I didn’t go to either of this summer’s blockbuster concert tours, but I briefly considered going to see

Beyonce (until I looked at ticket prices, yiiikes), and I watched countless clips from the shows for

weeks. So I was pretty pumped for this. It’s not entirely a concert film; there’s a good deal of backstage

detail and commentary from Beyonce and members of her team. It’s also drawing from multiple

performances, which takes away from the “you’re watching a live show” feel but instead gives us

all those amazing costumes and a number of individual show quirks that you would miss in a single

performance. It’s truly extraordinary to see how much goes into putting this show together (e.g., there

are three identical stage sets so that they can already be setting up two cities ahead while the current

show is happening). And I don’t care if it’s put-on, I love how down-to-earth Beyonce seems,

especially in the section about her daughter, and her anxiousness as a mother watching her baby

girl perform on stage for the first time. (In theaters.)

She Is Conann

This director previously made the film AFTER BLUE, which I adored. This is a retelling of the Conan

the Barbarian story, with a queer female Conan(n) and an all female cast. Conann is played by six

different actors in different eras and different settings, with each new incarnation killing the old. The

visuals are breathtaking and the storytelling is wild and imaginative, which I was expecting having

seen AFTER BLUE. And like that movie, it’s best not to try and understand it in any normal way.

Don’t try and fit everything together into a rational narrative. You will miss so much.

(Coming to Alamo Drafthouse Jan. 30.)

Suitable Flesh

Director Joe Lynch makes the movie Stuart Gordon was hoping to make before he died and the highest

compliment I can pay him is that it feels so much like a Stuart Gordon movie without feeling like a copy.

Part of that is due to the presence of Gordon regular Barbara Crampton, both in front of the camera

and in a consultant capacity. Part of it is also undoubtedly due to its source material – like so many of

Gordon’s movies, this is based on another Lovecraft story. This is a great body swap horror story, and

I love that Lynch treats the concept seriously instead of making it a fun “walking in someone else’s

shoes” narrative. Because the idea of occupying someone else’s body and doing whatever you want

is actually terrifying and a violation. I think perhaps my favorite aspect of the movie, though, is that

its stars are female characters of a Certain Age that are allowed to be complicated and horny and not

just matronly. (Available to rent; premiering on Shudder on Jan. 26.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Having been very much into the Ninja Turtles in the 1990s, I always have a soft spot for whenever there’s

something new in this universe. I was especially interested when I heard that Seth Rogen and Evan

Goldberg were involved in the writing. This is so much fun and has so much love for the characters.

I love what genuine teenagers they are and how protective Splinter is of them (and that he’s not just

a randomly overprotective parent – he knows from experience what could happen to them). I love

all the various mutant characters they meet, and Superfly is an incredible villain. The movie has such

a great look too, and I’m a huge fan of the animation style, which is very similar to the new Spider-Man

movies. I’m really excited to see what’s next in this story.

(Streaming on Paramount+ and available to rent on other platforms.)

Thanksgiving

I know Eli Roth is not everyone’s cup of tea, but this is a genuinely great slasher and a welcome addition

to the holiday-themed horror pantheon. It has some great takes on slasher tropes, notably in the opening

sequence, which gives us both a horrible inciting incident and Thing That Must Never Happen Again Lest

There Be More Deaths. The movie hits all the best beats of Roth’s Grindhouse trailer from 2007

(including a more realistic version of the trampoline kill). There are better-than-average horror characters,

which doesn’t sound like much, but when you’ve seen a lot of slashers you cling to better-than-average.

The kills are pretty extraordinary, with some great gore, and there are some unexpected moments of

levity (the killer pausing to feed the cat before they escape one crime scene is especially memorable).

I’m glad this movie has done well, and I’m curious to see where a sequel could take this.

(Available to rent – not cheaply – on several platforms; releasing on physical media Jan. 30.)

Totally Killer

This was the final film of Fantastic Fest and it was such a delight. While it technically is a slasher, it

doesn't have the same feel as one. It has a lot in common with THE FINAL GIRLS from several years

ago (especially emotionally and with regard to mother-daughter dynamics), but while that movie took

a “Last Action Hero” approach, where characters are magically brought into a fictional world through

the movie screen, this is like a comedic slasher version of “Back to the Future.” The initial setup is darn

near identical (character is chased, they take refuge in the time machine, accidentally go back in time,

get stuck and try to fix something from their parents’ teenage years before managing to get back to their

own time). This isn't the first time an 80s throwback has commented knowingly on that time period, but

it's the first time I've seen a Gen Z character trying to navigate the 80s and (rightly) boggling at how

wild a lot of things were (like the school office’s complete disregard for students’ privacy). This cast

is exceptionally strong, especially our lead, Kiernan Shipka, and my personal MVP Olivia Holt – the

bitchy but badass final girl and future mom. (Streaming on Amazon Prime.)

The Toxic Avenger

This was the *opening* film of Fantastic Fest and it was a delight in a very different way from TOTALLY

KILLER. It’s based on the character and films originated by Lloyd Kaufman and his scrappy B-movie

camp factory Troma Entertainment. I was a Toxie newb and had never seen any of these movies until

a couple weeks before the festival. I watched the first three and fell for them pretty hard, so I was pumped

for this new version, especially as it was directed by Macon Blair (who also made BLUE RUIN and

GREEN ROOM) and starred Peter Dinklage as the titular avenger. This was seriously great and very in

the spirit of Kaufman’s movies. I told someone at the fest it was kind of a “glow up,” and it is – a little

more budget to make things look slicker and some known stars (including TED LASSO’s Sarah Niles).

Peter Dinklage is great as pre-Toxie and I love his awkward stepdad relationship with Jacob Tremblay;

even better is that he also plays Actual Toxie (the Troma films used two different actors), which gives the

character some welcome consistency. Kevin Bacon, who was hesitant to play a villain after being offered

so many villainous roles of the “dirty cop” variety, is gnawing on every bit of scenery he can find. And a

clear audience favorite was Elijah Wood, who this crowd will always have a soft spot for, and who

actually has a pretty great role here. I can’t wait for this to get to a wider audience and see what people

make of it. (Not yet released.)