10. The Hyperbole-Breaker
This one is a category unto itself. I’ve gotten pretty good at avoiding movies I end up actively hating, at least in a theatrical release. But while I don’t *hate* this movie, it’s undeniably terrible.
Cats
Technical problems and narrative problems — this movie has it all. It’s ill-conceived from the off, for many many reasons — chief among them the portrayal of the cats themselves. And not just the creepy digital stuff, I mean the way the actors play the cats — too much writhing and prancing and wide-eyed wonder, and not nearly enough sitting and glaring (James Corden and Rebel Wilson are, weirdly, the most catlike in this respect when they’re sitting on that barge). Spielberg was developing an animated version in the 1990s, which seems like a much better idea, especially when you see the concept art (*insert Adele “we could have had it aaaaaaall” gif*). But at some point I just gave in to it, and the second half I actually found sort of engaging. Almost everything from the initial "Memory" number on had *something* for me to hang on to (though more directors of musicals need to learn the lesson that “park and bark” numbers DO NOT WORK on film the way they do on stage). Having said that, it’s still a stunning example of someone committing to something they have no idea how to bring about and aren’t willing to do the work to make it not be terrible. (In theaters.)
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