8. Mixed Bags
This is my “Facts of Life” category: you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have this section. Most of these movies have plenty to love, but lots of unsatisfying or downright infuriating stuff as well.
Black Friday
Good gore, good character work, but the monster-building or threat-building needed some more work. I’ve worked retail, including at the holidays, and I recognize nearly all of the characters here. And customers at that time of year sure feel like rage zombies being consumed by an entity of evil. Love seeing Bruce Campbell, as always. And if you haven’t seen Devon Sawa since FINAL DESTINATION, he is settling very sexily into middle age. But it drives me crazy that we never know where the evil entity comes from, or why there’s more than one in multiple places. There are no rules established for how to fight it either. I guess that sort of puts us more firmly in the characters’ shoes — because obviously they wouldn’t know these things either unless they were told through exposition or learned through fighting it (like, you know, happens in every other horror movie). It just feels like an oversight to not include anything like that beyond guessing “oh, they can’t be killed.” (Available to rent on most streaming platforms.)
Candyman
I like how this movie goes further and gets more specific about the context of racism in the Candyman story. I like a lot of the ideas here. There are some incredible visuals. I kind of like the idea of multiple incarnations of Candyman (though Tony Todd will always be The Candyman). And I love the lampshading of the idea that this story that began as a tale of racial injustice and revenge ended up being a story about some white woman and *that’s* what people remember. But the script is very disjointed (there are three credited writers and it shows). I’m still glad this exists, though, and I’m very happy about its success. I do wish people would stop calling it Jordan Peele’s Candyman, though. Maybe that name ID makes people more willing to see it, but it’s like “Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas” – that’s not who directed it, dude. (Available to rent on most streaming platforms.)
Cry Macho
Not terrible, but kind of dull. I like the idea of Eastwood exploring toxic masculinity (he’s done it before, but this is a new flavor) and his relationship with the kid in the movie is nice. It just doesn’t really stand out at all for me as an Eastwood movie, either with him as an actor or a director. It's a fairly simple road trip movie, with Eastwood being hired to retrieve his boss's son from the boy's mother in Mexico (which, to be fair, occasionally ends up being pretty dangerous). I remain impressed that he can still be going at his age, but I have to wonder how much more he has to say. Having said that, though, I will probably keep seeing his films as long as he *does* have more to say. I may not always agree with his politics or his point of view, but he's still one of the greats and I'll always be curious if he's got another UNFORGIVEN or MILLION DOLLAR BABY or BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY or HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER in him. (Available to rent on most streaming platforms.)
Fear Street trilogy
First of all, 1994<1978<1666. These movies progressively got better and the series has a surprisingly strong finish. I liked the notion of the two communities at odds with each other, and that the more we learn about their history, the more messed up it is. There are some GREAT kills in this (THE BREAD SLICER OMG) and some decent acting (though I was bummed to see Maya Hawke disappear so near the start). But it has the same problems that most throwback or “period” horror does. That is not the 1994 that I remember, nor is that the 1978 that I’ve seen in all my favorite 1978 horror movies (and dude, camp slashers weren’t even a thing until 1980). And everyone is hot, which is annoying — where my homely guys and gals at? (Streaming on Netflix.)
Framing Britney Spears
I was surprisingly invested in this. I was ready to punch some of those paparazzi, to say nothing of Diane Sawyer (who was justly but belatedly dragged for her unconscionable interview of Spears). But the coverage of the #FreeBritney movement feels a bit strange and unscrutinized, particularly all of the people finding weird clues in her social media posts, which the film takes completely seriously. I think the overall effect of the movie is good, however, and I also think it’s likely it had an impact on the eventual end of the conservatorship, which, again, I was surprisingly invested in. (Streaming on Hulu.)
House of Gucci
There are moments in this movie that I love for the sheer insanity, but they do not make up the majority of the movie. I knew this wasn’t going to be good, but I was at least hoping it would be entertaining trash. I *LOVE* me some good trash but this movie never fully commits to that and is still clinging with a couple of fingers to respectability and simultaneously trying too hard but not nearly hard enough to be a Serious Movie. The accents are all over the place, the scenery is chewed into mush, and Lady Gaga is sometimes (not always) wonderfully over-the-top but somehow Jared Leto is the only person trying to be in the movie I wanted to see. He is both the worst and the best thing in it. (Still in cinemas.)
No Time to Die
I love roughly half of this movie, and it’s at its best when Ana de Armas is on screen (which is unfortunately only about 10 minutes). Love the use of “We Have All the Time in the World” (which reduced me to sobs in the theater) but I’m not a fan of James Bond having a Mutual Understanding and Bonding of Souls with someone who is not only not Diana Rigg but also is about half Bond’s age. I do, however, love the repeated motif of women rescuing themselves (even tiny Mathilde!) rather than being rescued by Bond. As good a conclusion as they could have given Daniel Craig’s Bond, given that they had to continue from where SPECTRE left off. And I liked that they *gave* him an ending, which they’ve never done for a Bond before this. (Available to rent on most streaming platforms.)
Psycho Goreman
There’s a lot to love here, especially the creature work (I adore PG himself - “I do not care for hunky boys. Or do I?” - and all his minions are fantastically designed). And I can get behind a movie that completely rejects the notion of a moral compass…in theory. But wow, this was depressing at times. The little girl and the dad are completely insufferable and the Literal Worst, and I can’t believe I had to spend so much time watching them. Also, no thanks to that stupid “heckin’ best” song (a complete ripoff of Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" and I wonder if the filmmakers were sued over it), and all of the “heck" and "frig” stuff in general — just let the kids cuss, man. (Available to rent on most streaming platforms.)
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